Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
