C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
