Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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