sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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