Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize