you guys were way drunker than both of me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize