cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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