First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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