no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
