Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
