Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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