Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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