Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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