we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
jump out the window naked night went bad
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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