whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
