Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
