thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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