i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
