Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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