What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
