who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
