woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
