Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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