I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
