isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
