you would pick up someone in the library
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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