The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
