So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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