whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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