Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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