I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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