Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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