My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't deserve a penis
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize