Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
