That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize