I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
