dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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