mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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