Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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