Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
