I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
