Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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