We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
