So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
