I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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