I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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