But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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