I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
