you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
