U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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