And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You don't make any sense
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