I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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