I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot