Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.