I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
