Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize