haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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